Apparently you make a good broom.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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