We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
