he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
