My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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