took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
