East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
