North Korea, Best Korea!
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
