dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
