And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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