the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
high people should be assigned attendants
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
