OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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