Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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