he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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