Sponge bath it is.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Randomize
