peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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