I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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