he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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