Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
