wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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