So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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