3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
