1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
