If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
