If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
