I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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