dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
That accounts for only three of the penises
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
