I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
