The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
