I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
MIDGETS
????
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
