He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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