Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
