Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
