youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
