Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
