what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
