i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
