so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
