Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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