i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Houston, we have a blender
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
