my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
