so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
do herpes really smell.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
