a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
