if i died would you start the facebook group?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
