They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
