He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
