we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
