one two three fourrrrnication!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
