Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
