sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
