eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
