i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
