HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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