U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
why does every cop we meet know your name?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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